Tag Archives: the office

Ode To Jenna Fischer

If you didn’t get a look at the new number 4 on my home page, Jenna Fischer has taken the place. Now, you must understand that I don’t think I have any real shot of meeting her, however, I love “The Office”, which she stars in. I loved her in Blades of Glory. I recently was informed that she is getting a divorce. Now, after adding her to my friends on MySpace, I have decided to write her a poem so that she knows just how I feel… 

Ode to Jenna Fischer 

But soft, what light breaks through yonder television? 

It is the east, and Jenna Fischer is the sun 

I don’t mean to be silly, sick, crazy or rude 

But when I watch The Office, I wanna be your dude 

I cant fight like Roy, Im not as cool as Jim 

But Im taller and blacker than both of them 

I think if you read just a few of my blogs 

Youd accept my invitation to play a game of pogs 

Or Madden, or double dutch, whatever you like 

Then youd never forget me, like riding a bike 

I saw Blades of Glory and envied Will Farrell’s right hand 

Tonight you be a woman, and I’ll be a man 

I’m Doug and youre Patty, Im Stan and your Wendy 

I’ll move to LA, where we’ll both be so Trendy 

We could keep it a secret, make it sound like a fable 

Like Monica and Bill, keep it under the table 

People will say that were crazy the day that we wed 

They’ll compare you to Britney, and me to K Fed 

Accept my MySpace friendship, that would be great 

You could be my number 1, not just my top 8 

Ill send you flowers like roses and daisies 

If you said you wanted me, Id say back “Same-zies” 

I know youve got trouble, divorces are hard 

So let me take you out on my Chili’s gift card 

If I make the League, then youll be convinced 

Just dont run off with R Jeff or Vince 

On September 27th you go back to Pam Beasely 

Ill be watching feeling a little bit sleazy 

Imagining you and me closing my room do’ 

Because you already know it’s boom tho! 

The End.

Tagged , , ,