Tag Archives: poem game

Poem Game 3

I was down in San Diego last week to visit the mother when I decided that it would be a good idea to visit my high school’s basketball team banquet. You know, one of those end of the year, let’s celebrate the good guys and give certificates to the scrubs, type of deal. 

While I was there, some of the kids on the Varsity team wanted to know how I felt about helping them work on one of the servers with some poetry. Specifically, they wanted to play The Poem Game. I was all for it, of course. I was able to grab a pen and a napkin and I got to work. It seems to be getting harder to come up with new poems on the fly, but I was still able to whip one up. This is what I wrote for them: 

 

Outside this room golf is everywhere, 

But inside this place love is in the air 

You wear black and white, I want to Looky 

You look like a tasty Oreo cookie 

Think about the games we could play 

In a golf cart out on Lomas Santa Fe 

Monica, you work here, I’m from Torrey Pines 

Monica I could say your name a 1000 times 

If I’m a ninja turtle, be my April O’niel 

Come get my Ooze, if that’s how you feel 

Better yet I’ll be Shrek, you be Fiona 

We’d make sweet artwork like the Mona 

Let me take you out to lunch, be my Hannah Montana 

You bring some chips, I’ll bring the banana! 

I gave the napkin back to Ramsey Hopkins, a junior at TP. He then gave it to the server. Here’s how it went down:

<br /><a href=”http://www.vimeo.com/1010202?pg=embed&sec=1010202”>Untitled</a> from <a href=”http://www.vimeo.com/user446928?pg=embed&sec=1010202”>Rod Benson</a> on <a href=”http://vimeo.com?pg=embed&sec=1010202”>Vimeo</a>.

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Ode To Jenna Fischer Part 2

Earlier today, I went out and bought “Walk Hard.” I popped into my xbox and started watching it. I had no idea Jenna Fischer was in that bad boy looking as gorgeous as ever. It pissed me off in a way. Why did nobody tell me that the official Boom Tho girl was all spiced up and hot in a Judd Apatow movie? It caught me by surprise. I would have gone to the theatre to see it if I had known all the details. 

Anyways, the fact of the matter is that the Boom Tho GOTM’s have gotten more attention lately than the original Boom Tho Girl. Jenna, I haven’t forgotten about you. We have a chemistry that only two people who have never met can share. It’s special to only us. So, I decided that you needed another poem to show you just how I feel. The first poem can be seen in “Ode to Jenna Fischer”, but this is the second one. This is Part Dos! 

The past few months have been really whack 

But 2 weeks ago at 7 The Office came back 

I’m so glad she came back – I’ve missed her 

That’s right, I’ve missed you Jenna Fischer 

I know you think we don’t know each other 

But after watching Dewey Cox, I think you need a brother 

If you were some milk, I’d be like Ovaltine 

We’d get some brown in you if you know what I mean 

Yep, I said it, I’m anything but coy, 

If your life is a happy meal, then I’m your free toy 

My beds like a ship, let me be your captain 

Come to my room, “Where Boom Tho Happens” 

So what if Will Farrell felt you up in blades of glory 

The irrigation room gets wild after dwights bedtime story 

You’re like the Little Mermaid, Ariel of the Sea 

Ill go to the water where it is hotter take it from me 

Let me show you why they call me Too Much 

I just want to treat you like my Ipod Touch 

The next line is dirty, If you know what I mean 

Treat me like a Nintendo Cartridge that’s not clean 

We could be like Jules and Seth, solid as a rock 

You can scratch my back, but it’s located on my —

Let’s make some sweet music like Bleeker and Juno 

When it comes to Boom Tho girls, you’re numero uno! 

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Poem Game 2

Sometimes you want more than just a meal. Sometimes you need a little spice in your life. Sometimes you need to play the poem game. A place like Ft. Wayne, Indiana can have that affect on you. Maybe it’s the blistering cold, or the wind that makes in colder. Maybe it’s the four day roadtrip that makes you glad to get back to Bismarck, but somewhere along the way you get real hyped for some poem game. 

Before I begin, I want to make it perfectly clear that these poems are not copyrgithed or anything. Steal these, rewrite em, use em. Why not? If I help someone out there discover their gift of charm and use it to thier advantage, great. Nothing would delight me more! 

Now, where was I? Oh yea. So, we got to IHOP a couple of days ago for a game day breakfast. I am personally a fan of the Rooty Tooty meal, so I ordered one. You know the Rooty Tooty. 2 eggs, 2 bacon, 2 suasage, 2 ham slices, hash browns and 2 fruit covered pancakes. So sweet and delicious. While waiting for my food, I decided that I would try my hand at the poem game. I mean, success was not really the goal here, but entertainment was at a premium so I decided to give it a go. I asked our server for a pen and got to work. 

Here’s what I came up with: 

Last night I stepped off the plane 

In a random place called Ft. Wayne 

Then at breakfast I saw a beautiful dame 

And tried to read her Ihop nametag for a name 

Like my Rooty Tooty you look so sweet 

The type of girl I’d like to meet 

Just like the breakfast on my tray 

You could be the most important part of my day 

We’re here to play hoops, our game’s tomorrow 

And I’ll surely be filled with sorrow 

If I gave you tickets to the game — to go 

And you turned them down with a quick ‘no!’ 

Come to our game tomorrow? 

 

I asked our server to hand it to one of the other servers as two of my teammates looked on. We were all giddy to see what would happen. At the very least entertainment was sure to follow. 

Our server handed it to the target who we clearly heard say “No way!” 

We then watched closely as she read it and smiled and laughed. We continued to watch as she invited EVERY SINGLE EMPLOYEE in the building over to take a read. Seriously, she even had the cooks come out of the kitchen to gander at the poem. The whole show and tell process took a good ten minutes. We were starting to become impatient. 

Finally, our server returned with a little note and handed it to me. 

“I can’t I have to work! Sorry. (Heart) Staci 

Good luck at your game!” 

Shucks, not even a witty response. I didn’t really mind it, but my teammates were annoyed by the lack of a response. They called her over to the table. 

“Hold on girl. This aint how the poem game works. You gotta write a poem back,” one of them chimed in. 

“I’m not good at poetry though. I’m sorry,” such admitted. 

“Well then you gotta leave a phone number or an email address or a myspace or something.” 

She laughed and walked away. They still were not content though. They called her back over again. I remained silent. My entertainment was growing. I decided to just take it in. 

“Look. I didn’t even write it, he did. But I feel embarrsassed for him. You’re just gonna be like that huh?” 

She broke down and wrote on the same piece of paper as the rejection: 

“myspace name trixie” 

It wasn’t a lot, but it was the most we were going to get out of this. We let it go and went back to the hotel where we immediately searched for and found her on myspace. I mean, why not? We were still real bored with nothing else to do. This is the message we sent: 

Subject: Poem Game!!! 

Message: What’s going on? Sorry we came on so strong today while you were working, but sometimes I just feel compelled to write a poem. 

Anyways, you should let us know whats up for tomorrow night. It’s friday, and it looks like you like to go out and everything. We will definitely try to head out tomorrow so just hollar. 

Also, check me out at: 

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/nba_experts?author=Rod+Bens 

on 

Rod 

After we sent this message we figured it would be the end. We would be called stalkers, which was fine, and we would go about our lives. 

Well, a couple hours later I got this: 

“Hey! Im actually really suprised to hear from you. Wasnt expecting that. Its okay about what happened today. Sorry if I came off mean or a bitch to you guys. We get a lot of guys come in and try to mess with you while your working n I just dont have a lot of patience for that. You guys seemed really cool though. What time is that game tomorrow because i talked to my girlfriend and if we get off work in time to go to your game, im so down to go. So I guess just lemme know whats up. I thought the poem was really sweet, so since I forgot to say thank you, thank you.” 

I guess in the end, the poem is always a successful tool. I mean I guess I didn’t have intention of dating this girl or anything, just wanted to invite her to the game. I’m still not sure if she came or not, but we had fun on a day when no fun was to be had. I have a feeling that we will be doing this all the time. 

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Poem Game 1.5

First things first, I guess my teammate from last time had a talk with the waitress and she told him that she had a boyfriend. They discussed her situation and decided to just be friends. Now that you have some closure on the last poem game entry, we can move forward. 

This time we were all signing autographs as a team. These autograph sessions can get to be a little tedious at times, so I like to spice things up a bit. When we were almost done, the same teammate as before asked me to write another poem for him. The thing about it was that we were back at Buffalo Wild Wings, the same place where the first poem was given. I asked him who he could possibly give it to and he didnt answer. He just wanted another poem. 

I sat down with my pen and paper and got to work: 

Out with my team on a Tuesday night 

I was caught by a beam of light 

Your face was a beauty so pure 

I can raise my arms because Im Sure 

If you were an answer on Jeopardy 

I’d say “What is stylish, smart, and sassy?” 

What is naturally sunning and classy? 

Who makes all other girls look trashy? 

Its like you were sent from above 

I’m like Alltel, come and get your love 

Im drowning in my own emotion — save me 

Will you go out with me? At least say maybe! 

So, I hand the poem to my teammate, eager to see who he could possibly hand it to. He walks it over to one of the rookies. 

“Rook, you’re gonna give this poem to one of these waitresses,” he declares. 

The rookie was not having it. Seriously, this guy has a look on his face like he’d had enough of the rookie games. This appeared to be the final straw. He literally just refused to give the poem to anyone. I leaned in close to him and whispered in his hear that he should just give it to the same waitress as last time and tell her it’s from the same guy. The rookie loved this idea. See, neither of us knew that there had already been closure on the situation. We just figured we would rekindle old feelings and keep the fun going. 

Rookie got up and walked the poem over to her. I saw her reaction and thought she was feeling it. My other teammate saw what happened and put 2 and 2 together real quick. 

“Are you guys serious right now? I thought he was gonna give it to someone else not give it to her and say it was from me. That’s messed up man.” 

I chimed in as best I could while laughing hysterically. “What’s the problem? She’s feeling it!” 

“No. We talked it out. She has a man and a kid. We gotta go.” 

We all ran out, got in the vans and left. We have yet to return to Wild Wings. 

Look out for the next edition of the poem game.

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The New Poem Game

We were all at Buffalo Wild Wings when one of my teammates told me that he wanted to talk to one of the waitresses. He didn’t know which one, and he didn’t know how he would do it, but he knew he wanted to. It seemed as though one week in North Dakota had quickly become too long to not attempt to find a woman. 

I was very willing to help. Why not? The guy obviously wanted to have fun with it and also hopefully take a phone number with his to-go box as we left the building. All 8 of us there that night knew that if I was to get involved that it could get a little bit ridiculous. I mean, let’s face it. Everybody had heard the rumors about my blog and my antics. New guys were curious and returning guys were astonished at how much hype tmrb had gotten since that championship game day back in April. 

My teammate finally asked me exactly what we should do. I told him that I have written poetry to a woman before. Although he didn’t know who Jenna Fischer was, he understood that if I wrote a poem to an actress, I could easily whip one up for a BWW server who was probably already feeling him. I agreed that I would write a poem as long as he agreed to give it to one of them — no chickening out. 

He asked the server of our table for something to write on. She brought back a pen and some blank receipts and handed them to him. He handed them to me and I got to work. Here’s what I came up with on the fly: 

Roses are red, violets are blue, 

I see a good match between me and you 

Dont mind this note, I do what I can, 

You be a woman, I’ll be a man 

Every time I see you, my heart sings, 

Thats why I come to Buffalo Wild Wings 

My boys don’t think I have what it takes, 

To enjoy a bowl of frosted flakes 

With you the next morning after out date, 

I’m just a mammal looking for a mate 

I dont know exactly how these things go, 

But, do you like me? 

Yes No 

My teammate showed the poem around the table and everyone laughed at the words, but now it was time to see if it was all jokes or if it would actually pay him some dividends. He got up and handed it to one of the servers he thought smiled at him when we came in. We all watched eagerly as she read the note and laughed to herself. Success? Had to be, but we wouldn’t be sure until she came back to our table. 

She had the server of our table bring back a note that read: 

“I think you’re handsome, charming, and sweet, but maybe your boys are right! You might not have what it takes to eat this momma’s frosted flakes!” 

I personally thought that the first note was successful. Her response seemed to not only challenge his ability to get her, but also kind of dared him to try. On top of all that were the sexual implications of the frosted flakes being eaten. We decided to fire back with something that relayed his ability, confidence, and sexual aptitude. He actually thought he should keep it sweet and innocent like the poem, but since I knew I was gonna blog it, I kept it hot to get a good reaction: 

“Well the thing about me you may not know is that I have a big spoon and an even bigger appetite!” 

We watched from a distance as she read the note. Her jaw dropped and she quickly closed her mouth. She peered over at us as we desperately tried not to laugh. Her eyes kind of lit up and she couldn’t hold back her smile. She scribbled something down for a while then had our server bring it back to us. It read: 

“The only thing that’s on is you, 

Simmer down baby and just enjoy the view. 

A big appetite is just not me, 

So put your big spoon in your own mouth where it needs to be! 

You’re a sweetheart! Thanks for the lines, 

but maybe some other time!” 

Damn. Lost it. My teammate accused me of taking it too far. It is entirely possible that I did take it too far, but hey, if he thought he could get her number by himself, then he should have written his own coddamn poem! 

Well, after this ordeal, we decided that whenever we go to a restaurant, that I will write a different poem for him to give to a waitress who he is eying. Thus, the poem game has officially begun. I’ll be sure to post all the poems and reactions here. 

Hollar.

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