Graphs Help Me Understand

I figured I’d first show the graph I came up with, then explain. Here we go.

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This is inspired by Big Sean’s verse on Drake’s song entitled “All Me.” His line goes: 

Not complicated, it’s simple, I got sexy ladies, a whole Benz-full

And to them hoes I’m everything — everything but gentle


I immediately took issue with this line. In my experience a sexier Benz gets a sexier lady. I mean, really like a Maserati is a better choice, but the sexiest of Benzes are two seaters. So a “Benz full” in an SLS AMG is one sexy lady. That’s if she’s THAT sexy. We can stuff 7 ladies who like minivans into a R300. But that’s not what we want is it. Big Sean just needs to see a graph. 

Next:

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This is inspired by Justin Timberlake’s hook in Jay-Z’s song, “Holy Grail.”

Justin sings: Sippin’ from your cup til it runeth over, Holy Grail


It could just be me, but when I sipeth from my cupeth, that shit goes empty. Justin has a magical cup that only runeths when he sipeths and thus I protesteth to the malarketh of his senteths. Peep the Graph, Justin.

Last one for today:

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I came across back to back Instagram profiles the other day that were polar opposites. One was of a girl who’s photos all included her friends. They all looked alike, and it became tough to figure out which one was actually in charge of the coddamn profile. Eventually I just gave up. 8 photos in and I literally had no clue. 

Conversely, I the next profile I came across was ALL selfies. I don’t think I’ve ever seen another profile like this. 18 photos. 18 selfies. It was quite off putting. 

I made this graph for the ladies to show the epiphany I had that day. If you want men to be about your Instagram profile, have some selfies. Too few or too many, and you’ve lost us. Also, I really wanted to make a bell curve. 

Got something you want me to graph? F it, I’m bored. Lemme know. 

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