Pick Up Attempt

I see some of the most ridiculous pick up attempts of all time, almost on a daily basis.  Usually it’s along the lines of a loud yell like “AY!” or, “Can I buy you a drink?”, or something else that I know that the girl can’t possibly go for, but sometimes it’s a little worse.   

A few days ago I saw one of the funnier attempts I’ve seen in a while took place right in front of me.  I was at a local restaurant with a teammate of mine.  When we get seated, he notices a waitress on the other side of the restaurant and asks our waiter to re-seat us to the woman’s section.  I had already gotten my Lemonade and now this guy wants to move.  We get over there and she is a pretty attractive girl, so I’m interested to see what my teammate is gonna do.  She comes over to take our orders.  I say something along the way that makes her smile before she leaves.  He says to me that this is his girl, he’ll handle it.  Then, just to mess with my teammate, I tell him that I’m gonna make a move and give her my business card.  Haha, he knows that he can’t match the card, so he asks another waiter for a pen and some paper.  He takes the paper and starts writing a note.  I tell him that the whole note thing is a little bit junior high.  He should man up and ask her for her number.  He says to me, dead serious “I would, but I don’t know if that guy got her number earlier.  Besides you can’t come at white girls like that, you need to say this cheesy $h!^ to get them to smile.  Besides, she might be intimidated by all of us being here at once.”  I lean over and read as he writes: 

    “Hey Beth I find you attractive but Im a little shy.  i was wondering if I could take you out to dinner?  Or maybe you could come to my game tonite.  I play with the Wizards. 

circle     yes     no” 

I start laughing uncontrollably when I read this.  Im still laughing when she comes back.  He hands her the note when she gives us our food.  She leaves and comes back with a note of her own: 

    “Thanks for the compliment, but I am not looking for anything more right now.  I’ll see you at the game tonight though.  Go Wizards.” 

I’m now laughing so hard I can’t even breathe.  All his little tactics and calculations, even the “circle yes or no” at the end of his note because thats what white girls like.  Classic.  Shut down.  Gotta love it.  Anyways, that’s all for now, but I’ll keep my eyes peeled for more.

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